Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So I wonder will Moss wear #84 again? Seems that wouldn't be good for jersey sales as everyone on the bandwagon 10 years ago prob still has their Moss jersey in the back of their closet or trailer or whatever...

   wondering why, if midnight snacks are banned, why is there a light in the fridge?

   I'm a mess. Not in the "beautiful mess" way. In the "you dropped an omelette all over the floor then stepped in it" way.

   Run little rabbit! Run!

   If good chocolate, good friends, good hugs or a good solicitor can't fix it then it simply can't be fixed... =)

   Hey, someone finally won! Celebrate irresponsibly.

   I try to surround myself with happy, positive people, but sometimes they just really piss me off.

   Oscar Mayer needs to change the labeling on their bacon packages to read "Excellent source of hangover cure."

   Tiger Woods' golf game, marriage crumbles. I guess going from 120 holes down to 18 has been too hard an adjustment for him!

   well in his defense.. You are only his step sister.

   Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

   certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys!

   I never thought I would live to see the day that someone made a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group...

   one has facebook complex when he/she needs to have as many "friends" as possible regardless of who they are or if they even really know the person.

   "Good, clean fun" is a euphemism for "having to get all dressed up and do something you don't want to, so your grandmother doesn't get sad"

   living each day as if it were his last: That Korean massage parlor is on to him though. They stopped giving him dying-day happy-ending discounts.

   PUA-FEN, people use acroynms for everything nowadays

   I Dont know what annoys be worse?!! The viral fake group chain messages I get in my FB inbox or the Fact that some of you Dummies respond to them like your gonna get a Reply Back!!!

   feels like a marshmallow , short fat and white

   I think more people would go to the library in school if they spiced it up a little bit... like maybe putting and open bar or strip club in it.