Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.

   Had a good scare tonight, thought I was experiencing tunnel vision,. Until I looked in the rear view mirror and I realized was wearing my hoodie... "whew"

   Why don't people throw all of their paperwork up in the air when they're frustrated, like they used to do in 80s movies? It feels great.

   I'd actually be more excited to see an image of a grilled-cheese sandwich appear on a grilled-cheese sandwich.

   When I am home alone and I hear a noise, I freeze and listen.

   AOL puts Sandusky news on their sports page. Molestation is physical but it's not technically a sport is it?

   to all my haterz...I hope you step on a lego.

   taking a dump over the railing of an overpass and making bird noises

   There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't

   loves the smell of burning rubber, but I really should of told her the condom split

   Doesn't understand why the Mr. Softee guy didn't laugh when I suggested he try Viagra

   about go over to my grandmas house at 3 A.M in the morning so I can wake her up and get on her nerves!

   old gregg mother lickers

   He just wants 2 kids but never NO WIFES!!!!

   walking like an egyptian

   if I could rearrange alphabet, I would put 'U" and "I" together

   considering a career at Hogwarts

   Naturally the world doesn't revolve around me, I MAKE it revolve around me!

   Master Hathaway please save me from the evil toad mistress "I could darling but your butt is far too large to fit into the space"

   it just me or would anyone else really like a hurricane named after them? Earl? Igor? Yuck!