Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   "gonna get rich, or die trying"

   practise safe lunch, use a condiment!

   I've met many believers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.

   I don't watch Faux News for the same reason I don't eat out of the toilet.

   The best thing about dating a homeless woman is that you can drop her off anywhere.

   I wonder how long buffoons like Spicer and Kellyanne would last on the Apprentice?

   I went to a Chinese restaurant and saw the sexiest woman I have ever saw, so I was blunt and said I wanna 69...she brought me Beef and Broccoli.

   If a white person eats a cracker, is that cannibalism?

   I read at the end of the 20th century all Blacks were offered exodus from US slavery the only requirement was a boat ride back to Africa. But we know how blacks feel about water, ergo: they stayed!

   Dear Lord, in the past year you have taken my favorite actor, my favorite actress, my favorite singer and favorite salesman. I just wanted to let you know my favorite president is Barack Obama.

   the idiot who wrote about the Porshes and Mexicans, the last time I check people in the US cant afford to buy a car

   it's ridiculous how ghetto people or illiterate people for that matter confuse Barack Obama with Baraka from Mortal Kombat II...

   Do you the only thing worse than a Patriot fan?.........Two Patriot fans!

   Remember when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs. Now, KFC is offering the "Obama Bucket". It consists of nothing but chicken crap.

   I thought bullying was no longer socially acceptable....so why are the Republicans doing it?

   Twitter says they will stay based in San Francisco if they get a significant tax break. Apparently they are making so much money that their tax bill comes in at more than 140 characters.

   When the Zombies rise, you will be safe. They like to eat brains, and clearly you do not have any!!!!

   If you wasn't too into yourself, I'll probably be into you.

   Starting to doubt if Lage Gaga is a drag queen

   Hi. I'm unable to answer my mobile phone at the moment, but if you leave a message, the News of the World will email it to me later