Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Be yourself beautiful, and you will find the world full of beauty

   I'm sorry Baby, that's gravity. I can't help it that I'm physically attracted to you

   you can get whatever you want in this life if you have self confidence,determination...and an AK-47 wz unlimited ammo..

   I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....

   if a fly didn't have wings, would it be called "walk" ?

   thinks that the Waltons take way too long to say good night!

   I really think that one whom sratches his or her own ass, should not bite their Fingernails

   Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

   When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

   drinking shots with Miley Cyrus! Hope she dosent make a song about it.

   Rated E for every one!!! wait.......

   t is my sincere hope that your day is full of love and that you are a positive influence on the people who look up to you. It is also my sincere hope that Perez Hilton pours kerosone all over himself, down his throat and in his socks & immolates himself

   ˙sıɥʇ op pןnoɔ noʎ ɥsıʍ noʎ ʍouʞ noʎ

   alright...who's been spraying the arsehole aerosol in the air again!?

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   Dear makers of poppies, as much as I respect the poppy and what it is a symbol of, I would have thought that you would have been able to make a more secure fastening device by now. And perhaps one that doesn't stab the wearer several times a day. I'm just

   Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!

   If you smell cheese and see pizza ur hungry. If you smell cheese and see feet ur disgusted. Now make up ur mind will ya! Either you like the smell of cheese or not.

   heard on the news that Justin Bieber won like 2 million awards last night but he's only sold 4 CDs. wtf?

   I can hardly stand the wait, please christmas don't be late!!