Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   How about we start being thankful everyday,,, then have a holiday once a year called Complainsgiving?... It could even be tied somehow to Festivus

   ladies it's hard for us to read your thoughts if you already vocalize each and every last one of them

   Its not about how many friends you have. Its about how many of your friends you can rely on in times of trouble.

   This morning, I got robbed in the shower by some soap scum.

   My boss and I will have to agree to disagree. He wants me to do stuff that will make him money. I want to do stuff that will get me drunk.

   Wanted GF. A girl with good cooking skills and a jet ski, please show pic of jet ski.

   I'm not saying my ex wife was crazy but she was jealous of my dog...

   Papacy - humans praying to another human.

   Lost in all this marriage debate are the Tranny's. Who can they marry, either sex or neither sex??

   funny, I see anyone wearing those "LiveStrong" wristbands anymore...

   How do you choke someone without killing them? Asking for a friend.

   If You Can't Be With The One You Love... Slap The One You're With!

   I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.

   To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.

   Where the heck is that "Polka" button Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordian and am ready to boogie.

   Value has a value ONLY if its value is valued . . .

   If you cant beat them, put a few drops of Visine in their coffee.

   No word in the English language rhymes with month.

   Almost casted for "The Biggest Loser", when I found out it wasn't the lose weight show, totally got pissed..

   Mmmm, plumpkins..