Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Ok now confess! Who else just lost big in the office Pope naming pool?!?!?!😢🙈😂

   Snooze option must be the most pressed button in the morning :D

   "I bet you're the kinda girl who likes the strong, silent type, aren't you?" ~ best way to announce passing gas in an office setting while avoiding sexual harassment charges ツ

   I never responded to your foolishness because I still have what you don't want me to have!

   Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate.

   Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

   The list of artists featured in MTV Unplugged in 2011 up to the present tells you what kind of singers we have nowadays.

   I'm such a maverick. I refuse to make Sun tea. I'm making Moon tea, and let me tell you...that $hit's been on the back porch for 8 years and it STILL ain't done.

   People who say I tend to give up too fast on things should- eh, know what, never mind.

   I love it when you push my buttons, baby. But touch my car radio presets and I'll have to push you into oncoming traffic.

   Lost my brain.. If you find it please dont contact me. I am Happy!!

   Chad Johnson was arrested for domestic violence...apparently he beat the crap out of Randy Travis.

   I've seen squirrels having seizures with more brains than you

   Hit me with your best shot... of tequila.

   Rosanne is running.....who cares

   So if you packed your lunch with a few weed brownies its all good.

   The thing about Truth is, it is always True!

   Just took a dump without my phone. Where do I collect my Nobel Peace Prize?

   So...I'm the only one left Occuying Wall Street so I'm going home...

   So, Los Angeles wants Meatless Monday... and probably followed by Tater Tot Tuesday and Weinerless Wednesday...