Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   siting at her comp and staring at the screen waitting for you to talk to her

   just got a phone call reminder from my dentist about an appointment to come in for a cavity search...

   the leader of the show, make the ladies say "Oh!"

   was a strange kid. I had an upper and lower G.I Joe.

   if you dont think everyday is a good day, just try missing one!

   If the outside is so great, why has man spent hundreds of years perfecting inside.

   if Cheryl hates Ashley so much and divorce him without taking his money,why is she still using his last name?

   A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

   ID television for insomniacs who dont like info-mercials

   In need of a b-pong partner... If you're not super cute, then you better be the nuts at pong.

   I'll stop at nothing for a moving violation.

   I just saved a ton of jail time by switching to Chris Brown!

   Something is definitely up at this police station, the cops are f$cking everywhere.

   It's so sad how some people only see the world as something to put on a resume or college application.

   Only had about 4 hours of sleep last night, that should be good right? It is not like I am going to fall asleep on my keyboar

   Carlos Santana just announced his song "You've got to change your evil ways" is blaring at Gadaffi's grave.

   I was gonna get something done... Then I logged in

   I would take Eddie Money's second ticket to paradise, then hope we're not seated together.

   I'm hungry, but there's a repair guy here and I don't feel comfortable eating. Suffering is funny until it happens to you.

   As a driver, I hate pedestrians... as a pedestrian, I hate cars... WTF I'm walking here!