Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If Apple created the iHouse, it wouldn't have any Window.

   Rupert Murdoch is said to be deeply touched by the messages from family and friends left on Whitney Houstons phone.

   "I wasnt that Drunk", "Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo"

   "Want half of my sandwich?"- Jeffery Dahmer

   Nothing SCREAMS "I have a small peni$", more than owning/riding a Harley Davidson!.

   Congrats to Obama for his Oscar win for best acting by a Politician last night ! !

   Honk if you love a peaceful and quiet drive.

   ► Play the moments ▌▌ Pause the memories ■ Stop the pain ◄◄ Rewind the happiness. Be a remote in your life

   "When people fight and hate and kill over Me I'm obviously very flattered." - GOD

   Religion is only 4000 years old and based on where you live. The world is billions of years old.

   If you put anything in your mouth that Bill Cosby gives you, he'll probably be putting something else in there in the very near future. Somebody should probably just kill him!

   More excited than Tiger Woods in a Strip Club

   says it just isn't fair there are children starving in Africa, And I wake up looking this good.

   Treat ur tuthbrush like a girlfrnd Use atleast twice a day Dont let any1 else use it, & replace it in every 3 months.:-)

   FACEBOOK..... YOU ARE NOT MY THERAPIST!!! DONT ASK ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE!

   Everytime I read "Happy Hanukkah" It reminds me of 'Hakuna Matata''

   He's doing a fabulous job of destroying the economy that president Obama left him. Tremendous job!

   Are Tyler Perry movies some kind of punishment for slavery?

   if you are reading this you love lesbians!

   If this God wanted to impress me with his miracles, he would've impregnanted Joseph and not a poor, unwed teenage girl. That sh|t happens everyday.