Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Mindy Mccready committed suicide, your move Justin Beiber!
←Rate | 02-18-2013 00:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon During sex, I'll bite, scratch, swear and pull hair but it only seems to encourage uncle Brian.
←Rate | 09-01-2012 09:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you like dragons? Because I'll be dragon my balls across your face.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:55 by @PoorPickupLines Comments (0)  


   messageicon writing a Christmas list: Shamwow, Snuggie, Flowbee and... a Chia Pet
←Rate | 11-09-2009 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a suicide bomber instructor. Suicide bomber training: Now watch carefully, because I'm only going to show you this once.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 21:04 by Alex D Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Asians throw rice at a Chinese wedding?
←Rate | 02-05-2010 20:03 by Chester Bello Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are amazing--they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
←Rate | 03-30-2010 10:15 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In a Relationship w/ Friday. "I'm really happy to see you again, you know how much I love you and miss you. Although we only see each other once a week, you never fail to make me happy. What I really like the most about you is that UNLIKE GIRLS, you don't
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:04 by AJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not even FEMA could help the saints
←Rate | 01-14-2012 23:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex left me for some balding, over-weight, less intelligent, less attractive, less financial secure person.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 22:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon why did the chicken cross the road? "to get to your house"..knock knock..who is there? "the chicken"
←Rate | 11-03-2011 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joined a gym today it had one machine that did everything: twix, mars and snickers, milk way, Doritos.
←Rate | 09-21-2021 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate a fish burger at Sea World and it suddenly dawned on me that I could be eating a slow learner
←Rate | 07-07-2011 07:44 by Rudi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scenario: The armed police officer following Casey Anthony out of jail with a AR15, " fake tripping and firing 10 rounds in her back" PRICELESS!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2011 14:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon c'mon people, gays have a right to be as unhappy as the rest of us... incidentally NYs divorce rate is about to go up...
←Rate | 06-25-2011 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The Lord moves in mysterious ways" said Peter while Jesus did the moonwalk.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 09:53 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time you will see Ameriscans bow heads....is when the CANADIAN national anthem is playing!
←Rate | 02-20-2014 16:20 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Bike Week...or as it's also known: White Trash On Wheels Week
←Rate | 03-14-2014 16:55 by Blerm Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daenerys Targaryen is such an overrated character "ohh look at me I have dragons" you know who else had a Dragon Rubeus Hagrid.
←Rate | 06-03-2014 05:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon people confuse bad luck and bad decisions way too often
←Rate | 09-05-2014 21:29 Comments (0)  



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