Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Breaking news: Barack Obama Unaware He Was Elected President. “I never knew & nobody told me” said Obama.......
←Rate | 10-28-2013 18:46 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon kicking it ol' school
←Rate | 11-24-2008 16:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a Life Alert necklace,,,, but instead of calling an ambulance it orders me a pizza
←Rate | 10-30-2012 13:19 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Jesus went to a dinner party on thursday, he woke up crucified on friday and he resurrected on sunday. Sounds a lot like my weekends.
←Rate | 12-28-2012 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What is the difference between a Hell'$ Angel and Jehovah's Witness? A: The Hell'% Angel comes to your door and tells YOU to "F*&%k Off!!"
←Rate | 01-02-2013 22:53 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon whats the difference between mike vick and a dollar bill....you can get 4 quarters out of a dolla
←Rate | 09-25-2011 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I made a clone of myself and made out with myself would it be considered gay or masterbation?
←Rate | 08-18-2011 22:27 by the Atheist Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don’t want my help disciplining your little brats then I don’t want more of my tax dollars used to help educate them.
←Rate | 10-06-2021 16:37 by Cornwallace Comments (0)  


   messageicon WE BUILT THIS CITY WE BUILT THIS CITY ON the ruthless and systematic exploitation of the working class through industrial capitalism
←Rate | 07-27-2018 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hasnt Slept since thursday night.....Id like to request a moment of silence for all the innocent Brain cells lost over the events of the last 48hrs, you will be greatly missed. kk time 4 sleep
←Rate | 11-22-2009 05:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon pink eye... I knew it was a bad idea to wear ur undies on my head
←Rate | 01-28-2010 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon on the 8th day god created beer to keep Canadians from taking over the world
←Rate | 03-04-2010 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost my virginity, can I have yours?
←Rate | 03-28-2010 16:45 by Lady Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn, Well That's Alright Because I Like The Way It Hurts" - Joan of Arc
←Rate | 11-06-2010 09:24 by gblack Comments (0)  


   messageicon that myspace and facebook should team up together so that you can invite your friends to come on myface.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious. Laughing at my ex-pence.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 07:08 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ran into the ex-girlfriend. She's doing fine ...but my poor car was totaled beyond recognition
←Rate | 05-06-2012 23:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ultimate rejection is when your hand falls asleep while jacking off.
←Rate | 11-27-2011 15:05 by Pig Benis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tampax will discontinue tampons with strings on them, it appears that midgets have been stepping on the string.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else notice the only difference between Obama and Osama is BS?!
←Rate | 05-01-2011 23:54 Comments (0)  



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