Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   No you stupid assassins! I said BIEBER, not WINEHOUSE

   GO SEAHAWKS!

   ~ A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

   In honor of my childhood idol, Whitney Houston, who has been sober for 10 days now, I am giving up beer for Lent. She is a true inspiration and a hero...

   thanks Obama......my advent calendar has pictures of Repo-Men, foreclosure notices and disconnect notices.

   Tea Party = Undercover White Supremacy

   Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies???

   Dear Apple, I have a new product for you. It's called iAmPissed.

   Are you into fitness? Then you shouldn't have a problem fitness d*** in ur mouth!

   You'll have to excuse me for the next 72 hours. I am re watching seasons 1-5 of 'Lost' in dazzling 1080i and a tremendous surround sound

   Don Sterling in trouble for freedom of speech!!!

   Wow, woke up this morning and Al Gore's still right about global climate change, how about that?

   All those tree huggers should've let the loggers cut down all the forests!

   Obama is at a All Male Gay resort this weekend. True story.

   The White House was saddened by the passing of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, whom it planned to name its first chairman of the ObamaCare Death Panel.

   This bumber sticker says JESUS SAVES " HE MUST SHOP AT WALMART"

   it wrong when your pubic hair is longer than your pubic?

   Just caught a woman texting & driving. I hope she knows it's a very big distraction and if a cop saw her she would get charged a very big fine because it is illegal. Anyway, I guess I should pull over and get some gas, starting to run kind of low.

   Nice try, New Testament. The only things that can die and come back to life are zombies and Robert Downey’s acting career.

   The stock market was 4500 when Obama took office, today it's going to hit 19,000 #worstsocialistever