Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Don't follow my footsteps I run into walls!

   this dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog

   Will Facebook for money.

   After telling a joke to a little sad kid, he simply asked back " do you know why the chicken crossed the road?" I said no why? He said " Because you were telling the joke at the chicken side". The end and he walked away. :/

   I am doing a hook rug of Bart Simpson. I REFUSE to use black and yellow. (Pittsburgh SUCKS!) Instead I am using Brown and Orange. (Die hard BROWNS fan!) Bart is ending up looking like Snookie.

   thinks that iPad is an iPod for fat people.

   id rather check my facebook than face my checkbook!!!

   We No Speak Americano, we speak Canadiano

   And all this time I thought Ariana Grande was a new drink at Starbucks.

   That women's march looked like a 200,000 bagger...

   Just for the record, a book filled with executive orders and congressional initiatives is not a comprehensive healthcare plan.

   Never compliment a woman on her mustache, No matter How epic it is .

   I got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine and pso pfar pno pside effects.

   Last night my wife was watching Marie Kondo, this morning I woke up on the curb.

   "Daddy, can you run for President and get rid of the estate tax so that I inherit an extra billion dollars?"

   Look at the bright side. The gas price increase is still less than the cost of a replacement battery for an electric car.

   can whoever turned off the bermuda triangle please turn it back on again thanks

   I got a speeding ticket yesterday...But my attorney, Rudy Giuliani, plead it down to 1st Degree Murder.

   *Maury opens envelope*......................"Necessity IS the mother of Invention!"....... *Necessity jumps up and throws chair across stage*

   Basiji, in Iran, calls "Death To America" not the whole nation – Basijis are some minority brain-washed people like you who wrote this statement. The Radical party intimidates - forces - people and brings them to street.