Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Every hard boiled egg is yellow inside.

   Kid, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

   Know what I love???? Free handguns and Hard liquor night at the ball park!!! Ton's of fun!

   Ever since it all chaged ... it just hasn't been the same

   Bruno Mars told me, "If perfect is what you're searching for then just stay the same."

   hates Know-It-Alls, because if you really knew it all, you would know I think you a shmuck!

   not bothered by that fact that knowone understands him, its the reality that most of the time he doesnt understand himself; thats what scares him.

   as my part of breast cancer awareness I will be giving "free mammograms"...

   playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.~

   Now With Extra Pulp, Squeezed Fresh For Your Statusfaction.

   trying to apply for a Unicorn Hunting License for the state of Nebraska....but I guess they were out..........................

   trying to eat the soup using a fork...

   I just shouted at a guy driving aSmartCar..... and I think I totaled it.

   During a fight with your wife tell her you're bored

   I don't have a thigh gap because I have this other gap on my face where I put delicious foods and beverages.

   Saying there is a huge azz line at Wal-mart is both ambiguous and redundant.

   The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird $h!t too.

   I see that there are now Toy Australian Shepard dogs. What are they going to do herd guinea pigs?

   Although the American founding fathers were pictured as old men many were young during their historic roles in 1776. Alexander Hamilton was 21, James Madison 25, James Monroe 18, and Thamas Jefferson was 33!!! Gee, what have I accomplished at those ages?

   I don't have a FitBit. I'm pretty sure I have a solid grasp on how inactive I am. I don't need like bells and alarms and stuff.