Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   volunteered to be a counselor at Camp Crystal Lake today.

   How's your day going? Here's a good way to tell: Is it "already" 2:00pm or "only" 2:00pm?

   Has finally found my Christmas spirit. Now if I could just remember where I put those candy cane shot glasses, I could start drinking it...

   all of you that believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

   The only thing in my cupboards is a pregnancy test….. Dam it now I have two problems….

   keep symbols for the symbol-minded

   Its the middle of January and you live in New England....Stop complaining and acting surprised "Its still snowing"!!!

   tips to get through work... Adjust your screensaver accordingly, I'm currently at a strip club

   Women don't know what they want and change minds often. Lesson over.

   the interviewer asked him, if he failed college would he have committed suicide, he said he would rather kill himself than doing something that terrible

   Homeless people are like the raccoons of metropolitan areas. Always coming out at night to route through your garbage can with their furry little faces and opposable thumbs.

   Clothes are half of what makes a man who he is. Take your favorite super hero, put him in drag, is he still your favorite?

   would like to thank all his friends who came out to his intervention. Let's get together and do this every year!

   like the real live version of the state fair..

   Thought I would drop in a line too __________________________

   Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

   Yes Southwest Airlines, I wanna get away!

   If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle.

   too hungry to sleep and too tired to eat

   Greek philosophers had some gangster names.