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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I violently vomit and get overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts whenever I read B EGO's sentimental crap.
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08-17-2012 06:30
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The most humbling, terrifying, self-reflective moment in a man's life is when he realizes his beautiful daughter is attached to a v@gina.
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08-25-2012 09:14 by
Czovczov
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I’m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn’t work out.
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04-13-2013 14:06
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The movie scarface is actually a remake of the 1932 classic movie, scarface! So stop bit*hing about the planned 2014 remake.
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04-14-2013 13:44
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The wind just blew a plactic bag away from me at this table and down the sidewalk. "That one's on you, Mother Earth."
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04-15-2013 13:38 by
Doc Noland
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"I like when the girl makes the first move" - Wussy
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04-17-2013 01:02
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been a rough week for america...derik jeter is hurt,victor cruz wont sign a deal and psy has a new hit record...how can this get any worse?
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04-19-2013 11:11
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Words of Wisdom: Don't cover your mouth when you sneeze. You'll get snot and stuff all over your hands ツ
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04-19-2013 12:44 by
Goober Peas
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I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks.
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04-25-2013 14:54 by
Prince Shawn
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I'm having a funny withdrawal. Someone please post something hilarious soon or I'll have to check into detox
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04-29-2013 09:09
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Stupid teen mom...There were easier ways of birth control besides The Backdoor. But at least your learned.
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05-07-2013 20:54 by
Andrew
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OMG When you've stalked someone's Facebook or Twitter, (1 million times), then you start talking to them, HOW HARD is it to NOT mention things you've learned from stalking!!!
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05-20-2013 16:56
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Roll up to Uhaul store, roll down all the windows, blast "I Like to Move It" until they call the police
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06-01-2013 22:56 by
HiYourJon
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Someone cook me dinner so I can Instagram a picture of it. It's an emergency.
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06-08-2013 14:35
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I survived Alberta Flood 2013
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06-21-2013 22:39
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I pick my nose like it's going to make me a sandwich afterward.
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09-08-2012 13:34
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I need to get a refund for my "DO NOT ARREST THIS MAN" t-shirt.
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09-19-2012 10:15
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I'm an overachiever when it comes to underachieving in life.
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09-23-2012 13:23
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Facebook is now taking way too long to open pages and sh it!!! So the meltdown begins.
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09-24-2012 05:19
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Sad news. Morgan Freeman passed away again today. ..This is twice in two months
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09-30-2012 17:05 by
snotty
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