Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the economy is so bad I saw a walmart CEO shopping at walmart

   Netflix is raising their prices again?! This sounds like a job for Hacker Group Anonymous!

   If you will lie about the little things, before long you'll lie about bigger things

   Beauty without virtue is like a rose without scent.

   The University of Maryland uniforms were so ugly that a University of Miami player was overheard saying "You couldn't pay me to wear those uniforms"

   In other news Apple bans apples from all grocery stores.

   She has butter legs – they spread easily.

   Money can't buy love; you are just paying for their attention and time.

   I thought of Lady Gaga when I ordered skirt steak.

   if gene pool wre like swimmin pool id drain mine & start over with fresh untainted water

   Visiting your extremely religious Grandma can be a day full of uncomfortable feelings and guilt. This is because Grandma has a little Dogma that's obsessed with chasing after everyone elses Karma.

   Rumors are the sauce of a dry life.

   During sex, anyone can say I love you, but only a few are going to stay and prove it.

   Crowded elevators smell different to little people

   Dear Apple, today would be the perfect day to bring out the new iphone to 'prove' that it's better than blackberry

   I'm worried that if I give up smoking I'll replace it with murdering.

   if girls don't have to piss side by side with their junk out, why do guys?

   If you suspect someone has the power to read minds, then just play Never Gonna Give You Up in your head so they will get Rick-Rolled trying to read your thoughts.

   Wishes there was a national "Free Domino's Day"

   I hate it when Pi Day falls on a Monday!