Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5120 of 5594

   messageicon Who needs thr circus when you can go to Walmart. "Our prices are as low as the self esteem of our freaks"
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday, quit being such a ba$+ard.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It has been revealed that Ryan Giggs of Manchester United has been slammin' his brothers wife for 8 years! damn! Talk about brotherly love.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 14:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
←Rate | 07-21-2011 15:06 by mckibben Comments (0)  


   messageicon weird. I was playing mini golf and this angry dude from New Zealand offered to carry my putter and kept swatting my wifes camera out of her hand
←Rate | 07-29-2011 18:09 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aug 1st- today is the beginning of my 12 step program. Step one, get another beer!
←Rate | 08-01-2011 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If all roads were straight forward, we'd fall asleep on the wheel.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 01:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My orange phone contract needs to hurry up and end soon - my backup paper cups and string are starting to wear out.
←Rate | 09-15-2011 03:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two things a HUMANS can never hide: The fact that he's drunk, and the fact he's in love.
←Rate | 09-18-2011 14:16 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every since he started "CHECKING IN" on Facebook, Waldo hasn't been that hard to find.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 20:18 by Spidey Man Comments (0)  


   messageicon Poking on Facebook is a way of saying, "I think you are cute and I like you BUT I am a coward"
←Rate | 10-07-2011 04:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Michigan fans are worse than the Hillary Clinton's supporters on whining when they lose.
←Rate | 11-27-2016 19:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi Honey, Can you pick up a six pack of bud, and a taco Bill on your way back from the March....ry
←Rate | 01-21-2017 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cant wait till tomorrow so the Mexican hookers go back to work.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....
←Rate | 03-12-2020 19:02 by Dan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arron Hernadez's lawyer: "Hang in there" Arron Hernadez: "will do"
←Rate | 04-20-2017 07:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When she suddenly stop singing while she's bathing, just know she's washing her P*ssy
←Rate | 09-24-2017 04:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Manafort's shell company was called Summerbreeze. I guess that's just more proof that he's been a giant douche-bag all along!
←Rate | 08-07-2018 21:25 by YouWho Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bad news is: An Alligator swallowed your child. The good news is: We're gonna comp you Free Family passes to Disneyworld
←Rate | 06-16-2016 07:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calling yourself patriotic makes you patriotic the same way calling yourself a neurosurgeon makes you a neurosurgeon....
←Rate | 08-01-2016 19:59 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left