Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Sorry I lied about being on the pill and now you are connected to me until you die. - WOMEN
←Rate | 02-03-2014 14:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life knocks you down to your knees, remember that it's the perfect position to pray.
←Rate | 04-28-2016 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Casey Kasem is missing, they should get Scoob and the gang to solve this mystery.
←Rate | 05-14-2014 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugly old married women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!
←Rate | 05-31-2014 20:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You girls were right about these yoga pants. I have never been more comfortable eating a bucket of chicken.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon * He has put his foot in his mouth so often, that his foot bone spurs has transferred to his brain and that is why he can not act rationally.
←Rate | 05-13-2020 02:22 Comments (1)  


   messageicon why is it called hoarding and not stock home syndrome?
←Rate | 04-30-2021 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I played a country music song backwards. I got my truck back,my house back,my dog back..
←Rate | 02-10-2010 20:15 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Texas wants to become its own Country. Great we can boost our economy by building a wall around it.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 22:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I prefer going to the pub than going to church because the spirits in the pub are real
←Rate | 04-14-2013 07:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon George Zimmerman is proof that we don't need any more gun control. We need pin-headed vigilante control.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 01:09 by curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Adele spent more time on her relationships than eating non-stop at Golden Corral we wouldn't have to listen to her whiney ass songs.
←Rate | 05-09-2012 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS - Obama just won an Oscar for watching a movie!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I say a girl riding her bike, I thought to myself what is she doing shouldn't she be in the kitchen?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon busy Saving Humanity from the Evil Decepticons
←Rate | 03-04-2009 11:51 by Matt Mayz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I want the Bears to win today is so that I can watch them lose in the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 15:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, “Big pee pee!” I’m taking him with me everywhere I go from now on.
←Rate | 03-08-2022 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found out that Rudy Giuliani was married to his cousin for 14 years. It all makes sense now.
←Rate | 10-07-2020 14:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't know why the wife gets so disgusted when I go to the bathroom in the shower.If you step on it a few times it won't clog the drain.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 17:37 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon At last a new pedophile, sorry I mean Pope has been elected.
←Rate | 03-13-2013 14:35 Comments (0)  



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