Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   come here girl,you trust me dont you ?"yes",good,now close your eyes and smile like a donut .

   still a virgin, but this is an old status

   I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then suddenly... She's not your friend anymore.

   Sorry Romney lost, imagine all those moron joke we coulf have done..... sorry mormon.

   James Gandolfini is dead of a heart attack and Dick Cheney is alive and well. So go ahead and remove "karma" from the dictionary.

   Jamie Lee Curtis is in a new horror movie about a haunted yogurt shop..It's caled Paranormal Activia

   Life is not measured by the breaths you take...its measured by the moments that take your breath away.

   iMac, iPod, iPhone, iCloud, iPad and today... iSad

   Three Muslims walked into a bar. I thought "Screw this" and left instantly.

   Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

   When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

   Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

   Getting shot is my 2nd amendment right.

   Casey Anthony is still a MILF.. The 'M' just stands for Murderer.

   Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus

   I propose that Jesus must have been a Zombie. Lets look at the facts: He came back from the dead, He wants you drink his blood and also eat his flesh so that you have ever lasting life. Or maybe... a vampire-zombie? Hmm... futher study is needed.

   Common sense is like deodorant... The people who really need it never use it.

   In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

   trying to get your attention with this damn message!

   the walrus