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I work hard for the money......maybe someday I'll get to see it and enjoy it. 
Does womens restrooms have attendants in the fancy strip clubs? If so how do I apply?
CALL 1-800-OUR-BAD, IF YOUR BRAKES DONT WORK.
As things that I find gratifying as an adult goes, being at work and getting paid to take a dump is very high on the list since it is something you can do daily.. I encourage everyone to do this now! And if you wanna take it to the next level, rub one out
i am sick , radiating moon beams from my television ..reinforce my mass produce neurosis .....filter through bacon pies and and down spouts of grease help my shoes walk another day ..pass fears and smiles of everyday people
pointing blow dryers at passing cars.
Playing x-box.. Err, I mean Lifting Weights
thinks it's a dog eat dog world, and he somehow ended up wearing ground beef underpants.
knows Victoria's secret
thinking about sex, pondering about what the risks are and what you can catch. Then it hit me....Life, is sexually transmitted.
was pulled over and arrested for DUI. They police said my blood/awesome level was 10x over the legal limit.
think you should be wearing the sign "may contain small parts"
spending to much time thinking about what this status should be
Whenever you fall, pick something up.
feels like a Autobot in a world of Decepticons
caught the creepy crotch cridders
Who needs a toaster when you have an iron?
treat everyone the same, till you find out there an idiot.
im good at keeping secrets just ask the guy who still wets his bed ..........DAMIT
A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
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