Funny Status Messages

   chasing parked cars.

   watching the news and doesn't understand the fuss about gay marriages and weddings...flowers, classical music, people dancing to the village people and sister sledge...aren't all weddings Gay?

   having an out of body experience. will be back in 10 minutes

   good girls go to heaven but bad girls go EVERYWHERE

   out-smarted a cat and several ants and it's only half past two

   thinking about going back to ninja school and finishing my degree!

   's life has drastically changed ever since he started using verbs

   to be ahead in life you have to own one

   has a funny feeling they don't sell protractors or standard deviation calculators at his local "doller stoor".

   standing outside your heart...please let me in...=(

   If life hands you lemons, then sqeeze them in someones eyes and book it the other way.

   as smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!

   walked past a tree with a Man Utd 09/10 season ticket nailed to it, I thought sod it I'll have that. After all you can never have enough nails can u?

   wouldn't be caught dead around a necrophiliac!

   has made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   My girl told me I should embrace more of the holiday season. So I glued a mistletoe to my back pocket!!

   First the dead birs in Arkansas, now the 2 million dead fish in Maryland. Are we in a Michael Bay disaster movie?

   These liberty tax male lady liberty people on the side of the road make me happy I'm not them.

   going ice fishing in my neighbor's fish tank. Yep, its that cold.

   Talking Sh1t is harder now with Google out there.