Funny Status Messages

   Kevin Durant, it is time to take your backpack and go home!

   How do you pronounce "cicada"? What?!? WHAT?!? I can't hear you!

   Looking forward to 2014 again..... she was 20 and I was 14. Good times!

   "He is risen! He is risen, indeed!" - That's what she said.

   You must be the Fat Pig to be so offened

   I think it's Funny how people are hating on Romo when their team's QB is sitting on the couch watching him still play.

   I was going to do the Alzheimer's ice bucket challenge. But I keep forgetting.

   Kiss me," she said, "kiss me like you've never kissed me before". So I stuck my tongue in her nostril.

   "Joseph was engaged to Mary, but she then revealed she's pregnant. You won't BELIEVE who she says the baby daddy is......Today on MAURY".

   A woman who act like a man will get slapped like a man! Thats a standard rule..

   What if Captain Planet and Obama are gay lovers?

   Dear Amish person reading this: Busted!

   "He's bleeding out!" The physician yells, "Mr. Kool aid man we need to do a transfusion, what's your blood type?" He replies weakly "O-yeah"

   .... It's now being reported on the news that Kim Jong Il's very last words before he died were ......... "Hey, .... Aren't you Chuck Nor..............."

   parties after Jesus died must've been pretty lame for the rest of his disciples ..

   bill belichek is still in the locker room crying like a b1tch so no interview from him till tomorrow Lmao

   If a fat girl falls over in the middle of a forest and no-one's around to see it, do the trees laugh?

   Don't lie, cheat or steal. The government hates competition.

   My dog wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Fleas Navidad.

   going to The Regal Beagle tonight with Janet and Chrissy. Larry will meet us later. When we get together, shenanigans will soon follow.