Funny Status Messages

   Went to check the mail.. and got iced. Thanks mom

   I like your style ... I like your class ... but most of all I like your ass!

   The BP oil is seeping into Bedrock. I'll bet Fred Flintstone is furious.

   Wondering if in the future, robots will have a dance called the human.

   Sarcasm........ Killing relationships since eve Adam ate that apple

   not to happy with our Goverment and thinks there is some truth to the quote " What Lions they are Lead by such Lambs"

   Curiosity leads to education; education to knowledge; knowledge to understanding; understanding to tolerance; tolerance to peace.

   I got stone cold case of the muchies so bad that I'm eating Macaroni and Cheese straight out of the box and chasing it with a glass of milk and butter. So good! I'm tempted to try snorting that powdered cheesy goodness for ultimate processed food high.

   choo choo...Lindsay Lohan...WHAT A TRAIN WRECK!

   <---------------------was dumped on Facebook!

   Can I borrow that quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love.

   You know that garbage can right next to Oscar the Grouch's garbage can? That's where he takes the ladies.

   funeral directors are facing a hard decision on whether they should cremate, bury or recycle Michael Jackson

   thinkin'... well, la-dee-frickin-da !!!

   How to annoy people: Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".

   A candy that starts off sour and then gets sweet?... Wow that sums up my girlfriend..

   when life handsyou lemons,make Grilled King Prawn Salad with Lemon, Chilli and Dill Sauce

   ..Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.

   realized you can continue to vomit LONG after you thought you were done.

   go on google,type why are a' and look at the first and fifth results in the auto fill