Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" -- Abraham Lincoln
←Rate | 04-13-2011 13:19 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon ❒Flossin' ❒Ballin' ✔Bill Gaten'
←Rate | 04-13-2011 13:18 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 13:18 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon at the current rate of the economy hookers are gonna be giving away toasters soon.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 12:53 by kman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feels sorry for K-9 drug sniffin dogs on their day off.....what do you mean we're not going to work....you don't understand mannnnn.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 12:52 by kman Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 beers $12, 3 margaritas $15, 4 jello shots $20 dollars, taking home the girl who drank all the above... priceless
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:46 by TheChosenOne Comments (0)  


   messageicon My blood type is Dutch Bros.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:29 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:29 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a race horse and named it "my face" just so I can hear women shouting "come on my face!"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:20 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Just Drove Like Six Miles With My Left Turn Signal On...Yep I'm Officially Old!  ☹
←Rate | 04-13-2011 10:52 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When trying on pants, even the most vile curse words very rarely make the pants change their mind and fit comfortably.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:31 by manduh Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop with a drug sniffing dog said to me "This dog tells me you're on drugs." I said "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching a cooking show full of dumb hosts and arrogant chefs. Yes, I think they should all try the smelly sauerkraut water - and choke to death.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:11 by mtravica Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, yeah. It's Hump Day, but get off my leg, please. I don't like you that much.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 08:40 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbour forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 07:32 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you wish someone Happy Birthday on facebook, only to realize you posted someone else's name on their wall... Darn those fb birthday notifications!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 07:29 by mmchet Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the past 20 years I've been trying to figure out how to "Stop" Collaborate" and "Listen"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so out of shape, I threw my back out taking a poop!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs to stop listening what people are telling him to do and start focusing on what he really wants in life..... pie!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sober ________ and Drunk _________ don't talk. Someone please fill me about last night.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 03:43 by Andre\' Comments (0)  



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