Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Telling your kids you remember when gas was $.99 is like your Grandparents telling you they remember walking to school in the snow barefooted... Both were a long long time ago & will never happen again... 
Coins always make sounds, but paper money is mostly silent. So when your value increases, keep yourself silent and humble
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
people ask me....why you keep your wallet in your front pocket...I say....I like walking towards money not away from it
No! for the last time stop asking if I am drunk… I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
You got 99 problems??well I got 99 bottles of beer on the wall that will solve everything
fake hair color, fake nails, fake tan, fake eye lashes.. and yet they wonder why they can't find a "real" man!!!
Dear Shake Weight, Thanks for showing the ladies how it's done. Forever yours, Edward
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Ladies, don't give every man a taste because eventually you'll run out of flavor
What's the difference between strippers and ballerinas? The ballerina's poles are horizontal.
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
Today is world animal day...let's all take a moment of silence... and remember our Ex's
Dude!!! That cross-eyed girl at the bar is looking at you.... And me
Am I the only once who noticed Michael Jordan has a hitler mustache in the Haines commercials?
Why do you LIKE your own status on facebook ? that's like texting yourself a question and replying back to yourself with your own answer
Does anyone remember when gas was $1.09? Yeah neither do I.
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Sometimes I think that life is one big test...and I'm in the wrong classroom.
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
