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Wating for that moment at 12:01 am when Jesus and Ashton Kutcher pop out and tell us we all got punked... 
Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories...
They tried to make me go to rapture and I said no, no, no.
where's my invisibility cape?? I wanna stay till the end!
My Facebook Wall: Drama free since I deleted my dramatic friends.
I really don't mind if you don't something for me as long as you dont' say you are going to do it but don't.
All you people with hair think you're so damn superior!!
Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom
And on the 21st Day of May... God said.. Hahahahahhahah!
Unf*cking believable, I expected to see Zombies outside of my apartment, you know what I saw? A dog taking a dump
Now that Rapture is about to begin…I have a few things I need to confess: I let the dogs out, I stole the cookies from the cookie jar, I hacked play station and YES I did cause global warming…Internet connection lost error message**
May 21, 2011 - The "A-crap-alypse".
You've been H.A.D ... HAPPY APOCALYPSE DAY .
Ok , rapture already! Take me an leave Beiber, or vice versa, whatever !
You know gas is expensive when you need the reflexes of a Ninja to get the pump to stop on a even dolar amount.
what happens if ur peeing when the world ends???....
stocking up on Twinkies and shotgun shells.
Just got a free bowl of soup with this awesome hat I just bought!
" I love you" should never be used in the form of a question.
I prepared my self for this rapture by playing zombies on black ops and my wife said it was a waste of time I guess the jokes on her ! 