Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Wanna make your girl scream when ya have sex fella's?? Call her and tell her where ur at!! 
Some friends I would trust with my life, others I wouldn't trust with my drink and the rest I would be mad to trust with my girlfriend.
Lawyer to Mickey: Sorry Mickey I can't divorce you from Minnie because she has big teeth.......Mickey to Lawyer: Sir, That's not what I meant when I said she was f*cking Goofy!!
I hate it when I'm daydreaming and some retard waves his hand in my face.
Every time we say, "Let's pull an all-nighter!" Every time we fall asleep.
There are 5 things in life you cannot recover: A stone...after it's thrown. A word...after it is said. An occasion...after it's missed. The time...after it's gone. A person...after they die. Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly.
CASE OF THE EX: I laugh at my mistakes, so please excuse me while I laugh in your face.
your fat because you have a slow metabolism!!! yeah right!!! A slow metabolism and a fast appetite!!!
When I kiss you without uttering a single word, I am speaking to your soul.
I can't believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
I know I'm weird. I accept that.
If I were a woman, there would almost never be a time when I wouldn't wear high heels or carry a gun. Or insist everyone call me Candy.
When you think about it there aren't that many songs about rainbows.
If actions speak louder than words, why can't I hear mimes?
There's no fool like an old fool. But some of you young fools are showing real promise.
When you want things to be done, give them to a man, but when you want things to be discussed, hand them over to a woman!
Zoo tip: Real Tigers often do not follow the rules of "Eenie meenie miney moe"
GHETTO WORD OF THE DAY: OMELETTE- "Imma punch fit what you jes said, but OMELETTE this one go this time.
"I'd like to thank my celebrity life-coaches Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, & Nick Nolte for the overwhelming positive effect they've had on my recent life."
I was at the red light beside a car load of mexicans when a semi ran over top them. I thought, dang that could've been me. So I got my CDL's 