michael Funny Status Messages

   Kris Kross will make you... Jump Jump. The Daddy Mac will make you ... Jump Jump. The Mac Daddy will make you.... OD in your living room.

   Burger King has accepted the Tax Duck-it Challenge. They have no challenged Yum Brands, Panera Bread, and White Castle. You have 24 hours or you will have to donate $8 billion to Obama's Economic Patriotism initiative.

   The person who coined the term "terrible twos" clearlny never had a child that lived past 2, which is good because if they though 2 was bad, they would have lost their $hit with a 4 year old.

   it really fair to say that Joan Rivers died at 81? Most of her wasn't even old enough to drink.

   Terrorists: 3 Industrial Accident: 15... sorry terrorists, but you lost this round.

   "What is an alcoholic Candadian woman with no talent, Alex"

   A look back on Facebook: 4,500,000,000 BC - 2005 AD .... cricket, cricket, cricket. 2005-2014 "Hey everyone! Look at what I had for dinner!

   Fox News: A channel solely dedicated to political humor by taking everything that is right with the world, twisting it so it's so wrong that it's funny, then claiming that it's news. The only bad thing about this channel is its lack of a laugh track.

   Watching the women's MAC championship. I'm just going to assume that the bulge in the front of their shorts is just a balled up tube sock.

   I like to think that "I don't give a f*&k', but I don't not give a f*&k nearly as much as this dude sitting next to me on the train whos watching hardcore anime p0rn.

   Customer: "Sir, could you take a look at my car; it's making terrible noises." Mechanic: "Have you tried shutting off the Christian music?"