Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Jeeziz. Walmart's Mexico unit said on Thursday it would invest more than $6 billion in the country this year.

   Turtleneck shirts were invented by a guy whose girlfriend gave him lots of hickeys.

   It's wash day, and we're bringing the Maytag.

   Some mornings I just want to punch people in the face before they could even speak because I know they’ll definitely deserve it later in the day !!

   That was a fun way to kill 10 minutes. See you dumbass sheep losers with no creativity whatsoever tomorrow.

   Contemplation is merely the precursor to engaging in the activity.

   I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently "A way out" wasn't the right answer.

   F*ck those ju baztids.

   Did you develop your personality in a car crash?

   If a case the Clap spreads,wouldn't it be considered an outbreak of the applause?

   RIP Jimmy Buffett. The Hurlburger's in Paradise.

   If you don't watch where you're going, you might end up someplace else.

   Yeah. 5 assholes.

   You are one big kunt.

   Had 2 activate a old flip phone you have 2 press every letter 3 times 2 form a letter which makes it hard 2 text & it's really slow which makes it hard 2 surf the web & see the news & all I can do is just live in the moment, & this is awesome!

   Steel chair vs everybody

   There's only like, 5 people here. 2 of us, Gary Koenig, and the fat crybaby cuck who take breaks between masturbating in between rounds of COD to count his "Magic" card collection and make boring Canuck posts. At least Gary and us are original, loser lol

   Social Networking: Facebook has degraded to displaying women's behinds playing golf and bowling?

   Can't wait to school you brainwashed, 3" d*ck, subjugated sheepies again today.

   Take THAT, ya J€w baztidz.