Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It's true that when you open a parachute it pulls you back up. One time I accidentally opened a parachute inside my house and it dragged me right up through the ceiling.

   I'm electrineering the engineers.

   I'm gone to tell my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this weblog on regular basis to take updated from most recent gossip.|

   "Taco Bell is still open. I just ate lunch there." - Vladimir B. Putin

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   Are you from Mississippi? Because you're the only miss whose piss I'd sippi

   I took lessons from a half-wit and held onto it all.

   I think humans are smarter than fish. If you were walking down the street and there was a Bic Mac hanging on a hook would you just start eating it?

   The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You’re either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.

   "Navarro is truly a moron, dumber than a sack of bricks. What he says here is demonstrably false." Elon Musk one hour ago. Navarro is the key White House trade advisor advocating for the tariffs. F^GA all turning on each other. It's f*cking hilarious 😂

   Backwards posts convey the message as intended while escaping the censors. But your cognition issues prevent you from comprehending anything substantive. I can see you now. 300lbs, 38D cups, and no pecker.

   "I can see you now. 300lbs, 38D cups, and no pecker." DUDE, you have the weirdest motherf*cking fantasies.

   You know who sukks? The Allman Brothers.

   I wonder if the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse even know about Taco Bell's $4.99 deal.

   Canucks are creepy weirdos relegated to the USA's attic.

   That should keep ya'll busy for the weekend.

   In fact, let's take it a step further. You only used one individual quotation mark the first time you used the word. Then the second time, you started with a proper quotation mark, but then didn't complete it with the second one.

   If this were real life, you'd be beaten so bad, you'd starve to death doing backflips 🤡

   Maybe we need a 100% tariff on microphones to prevent idiots from doing podcasts.

   Way to muss the point. Not bad for a Canuck Rusky Com... ee