Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Cats are nice

   Hurry up and respond with one of your schooyard insults, cuck! Be a good dog. C'mon, just one before we give you time to catch up on all those handjobs at the local jail for rent money 😂

   DreTec Funny Conundrum

   What do you call a snowman in July? ...a puddle

   Worshiping a piece of fabric is what life is all about.

   I’ll be deep frying something later on, because Sunday is the lard’s day.

   Always hated going to doctor’s even when I’m at my sickest .. not that I don’t trust them … I just don’t feel like paying em!

   Amazon Prime day is the equivalent to Scholastic Book Day when I was in school! Damn I'm old!

   "F" n----s.

   Since 2020 to December 2024, the national debt per person has gone from $80,885 to $106,119. Thats a $25,234 increase. As a family of 4, you just picked up over $100,000 in debt. So since you can’t pay it all, you gonna live it to your kids as inheritan

   JD Vance flew to Greenland to the U.S. military base. He spent just 3 hours there. Then flew home with his tail between his legs, humiliated. All other plans to attend events in Greenland over 3 days were cancel because there was no interest LOL!

   Cleaning

   hooray! you are the 99th person to view this message. Press command + w (or ctrl+w) to earn your prize :)

   Kids, beer is low in vitamins so it's important to drink lots of them.

   Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.

   I don't know why hetero guys my age are so down on gays. Most of their wives look like men anyway.

   I'm starting to suspect that they print "EZ Open Package" on stuff just to make us all feel stupid.

   Girlfriend

   I had the right to remain silent, I just didn't have the ability.

   A cult is an unpopular religion. A religion, is a popular cult. It's a cult. You're a cult member.