Funny Status Messages

   If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.

   Ok browns fans, lets put the "laughter" back into "manslaughter"

   In order to reconnect with my conspiracy theory family, ,, I've joined 20 "flat-earth" groups on Facebook

   internet dating... ~ welcome to the future ~

   One Christmas eve, Santa was under a lot of stress. When an angel walk in with a tree and ask what he should do with the tree was how the tradition got started.

   So studies now show pot isn't as good for you as people thought. You can drop dead from smoking a Joint. Hell of a way to meet Bob Marley.

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   Forced homeschooling has taught me I had way too many kids

   Gone with the Wind in 60 Seconds #2FilmsBecome1

   So broke this year that i'm having a Thanksgiving Chicken instead...

   Just once I'd like someone to say to me "sheesh your girl's hot as sh1t."

   Nice catch peyton

   Of course she won the argument. She cried. - every guy ever

   [Job Interview] "Do you have any questions?" How do they get those tiny ships inside glass bottles? "I m..eant about the job" Oh, no I'm good

   I do not know what "high fives" are but I've become more and more proficient at blocking these overhead strikes you're trying to hit me with

   You can stick your marshmallow world and stick it up your marshmallow ass.

   I'm pretty sure I just saw a tube clip of Miley Cyrus online. I'm not talking about Youtube either.

   The way you're bashing your laptop keyboard is the way your life is going.

   I'm just looking for a respectable woman who'll put her thang down flip it then reverse it

   in a honeymoon stage with his tablet. The two of us were made for each other. It makes me laugh, makes me cry and the two of us don't play games with each other... unless you count Frogger.