Funny Status Messages

   Only half an hour to Republic day. Hope you all are photoshopping your DP with the tricolor background already.

   Internet thugs, they all need hugs.

   never play a player, because you wont see you've lost till suddenly you've lost everything

   A successful diet means no longer caring "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

   Frankincense: an aromatic resin used since ancient times in religious rites. Do not confuse with Frankincense's Monster, an affront to God.

   Does anyone really "Laugh Out Loud" when they write LOL?

   I eat all my food doggy style.

   BOSS: Built On Self Success.

   I can wake up at random intervals, crying and hungry too, so screw you babies.

   No matter what they take from me, I'm pretty sure drugs took my dignity...

   nothing says I love you like saying, "if I cant have you , no one can" and demanding a reply with a .38 special

   If you guys ever visit NASA don't go on the Sally Ride.

   If you took this pill and died, please call the retard lawgroup at 1-800-dead-duh

   today is an agorophobic pedophiles wet dream

   I want to rap with Dr. Dre, I want to smoke with Snoop Dogg, and I want to burn a house with Eminem.

   a single chest hair doesn't mean you're grown. if you have to write how manly you are, you're not manly

   Women are never happy are they? I make her bacon and eggs in bed and all she can say is, "Get that f-kin cooker back downstairs now!"

   Family that smokes together is called a JOINT Family

   Would be a good day to golf but the old trick knee is acting up from the injuries I sustained in my college years as a star quarterback.

   My solar powered car coasted to a stop. "What luck!" I spat. The sun had just set. In Vampireville. - (excerpt from my e-book.)