Funny Status Messages

   I found a few ways to use feminism to my own benefit -- mostly to remain lazy and disgusting.

   What if Mayans were right, and we find ourselves stuck in a #Speck held on an elephant trunk just like Dr. Seuss foretold in "Horton hears a who!"

   someone corrected my grammar once and my grampar kicked their a$$...

   Nice try, girls who make up for being fat with makeup, designer bags and shoes. Nice try.

   the taste of you that lingers in my mouth makes me sick every morning

   It's not about the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean... I've never seen small ships make big waves!!! Just sayin'......

   With all the meat related revelations of the past week, I'm waiting in anticipation to hear the truth about Mrs Balls Chutney.

   Dear fellow countrymen, please watch Press TV now! Lot of smart America ns being interviewed (regarding korea war)which you will never see in major media networks.

   (overheard in Horse-ville)....."All in favour of this-here horse for president say Yea"... *silence*.... "All those opposed say Nay"... And that's why Horse-ville has been without a president for over 200 years ..

   Anybody else wonder why Noah didn't swat the two mosquitoes?

   Dont say you miss her when youre the reason why she left ...#TeamNoGoingDownTown

   I hate it when I get into argument with another person and that other person is me.

   "Fix You". One of my favourite Coldplay songs. Please don't sing it tonight though!

   I have been considering spending $100 on a toilet brush. I think I need to gain some perspective as s hit doesn't deserve that much pampering.

   What's black, white, has gills but flies and is available at book stores??.................I don't know, nothing probably, cuz that's ridiculous.

   I'm trying really hard here not to apply myself, but I'm just so full of adhesive.

   JAB, Stalking my Facebook friends.. one at a time. . .

   You shouls say, People neither hate you for your weaknesses, nor for your your strengths; they hate you when you're needy and clingy.

   do FB users in Australia have Mates??

   If you have a crime in mind, today's the day to do it...Happy national donut day!