Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   whip it ! whip it real good !

   Do your Moobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

   wondering why people say "Bring it!" in a fight. Bring what?

   thought it was called physical education, not physical movement!

   The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words: the womans body is nice budwieser face so ugly?

   Happy Nurses (and students) Day!!! *that doesnt apply to Nurse Sharks though!

   I love how everyone seems to be able to sing on facebook *singing*

   The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed!

   practicing karate. You know - waxing on and off, painting the fence, sanding the floor,

   dont make love in your back garden! love is blind but ur neighbours arnt!!

   when life throws you a lemon add the tequila and the salt !!

   Ever notice no matter how hard you try, you still say Reese's PEECIES instead of pieces?

   Dear God, When I was young I said always wanted to be a hip-hop rapper...Not a Christmas gift wrapper...in a mall...on a rainy Wednesday. FML

   I feel like Mr. Rogers when I wear a sweater...just not as sexy.

   I walked into Kwik Trip to pay for the gas & get a soda. It said, "Brat Day $1.50" in big letters!! This explains so much of the kids' behavior!!

   Does the ebonics alphabet contain the letter "D"? All I hear is, "My mom an' Dat." "I'm ok, I'm goot." "I like Chevy but I also like Fort."

   The only reason Trump be me president is because your dumb a$$ didn't go vote so shut up!

   Many people are afraid of heights. Not me, though. I'm afraid of widths.

   2017 was not a total loss as I successfuly avoided listening to Despacito

   It's 2018 so that means the millennium is legal.