Funny Status Messages

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5918

Page: 5918 of 6453

going to build an ark for the events thats going to happen on 21/12/2012, I can take the 1st 100 people, Early Bird Tickets come on sale 21/12/2011, make me an offer before you miss out

←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:31 by Daniel Comments (0)

pu ton your yalmulka, here comes hanukkah, it's so funukkah to celebrate hanukkah!

←Rate | 12-11-2009 22:51 Comments (0)

in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......

←Rate | 02-15-2010 20:43 Comments (0)

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!!!

←Rate | 03-14-2010 21:05 by MG Comments (0)

the man your man could smell like.

←Rate | 03-19-2010 21:07 Comments (0)

A blonde filled out an application form. It said "sex" and options were "male" n "female". She crossed them both off and wrote "Lots"

←Rate | 03-30-2010 16:00 Comments (0)

If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.

←Rate | 02-26-2021 08:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)

I am starting a GoFundMe to buy popcorn tomorrow night at the movies

←Rate | 01-01-2018 20:05 Comments (0)

This Jesus guy, no wonder women worship him. How long has it taken his 2nd coming?

←Rate | 03-29-2013 15:43 Comments (0)

only got 4 minutes to save the world

←Rate | 06-10-2009 11:56 by adam k Comments (0)

The best line which helps in saving money when going on dinner with ur wife : bol kya khayegi.... MOTI

←Rate | 11-07-2010 23:53 Comments (1)

We used to be young and carefree, and now we have a favorite cashier at the grocery store.

132

←Rate | 04-08-2022 15:32 by JCGJ Comments (0)

thinks the best cats are those that are stuck to my tire.

252

←Rate | 11-20-2008 11:57 Comments (0)

changing my profile pic isn't going to change anything is this world..i'd rather donate a bit of money than change my pic.

←Rate | 12-04-2010 02:23 by Arsenalaction Comments (0)

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

←Rate | 07-11-2010 02:33 Comments (1)

Funny how Flynn went from "lock her up" to maybe being locked up.

←Rate | 12-01-2017 17:51 Comments (1)

Anyone that uses the word yolo I hope gets aid and herpes and dies a slow painful death

←Rate | 09-03-2012 12:02 Comments (0)

My name is I, My problem is LOVE, The solution is YOU.

←Rate | 06-05-2011 21:14 by Surge yarmolyuk Comments (0)

To all you Pro Obama people praising him for this deed.. I don't remeber Usama being anywhere near the Whitehouse when killed. That is where Obama was sleeping while this mission took place. It has also been said that the intel leading to his whereabouts

←Rate | 05-02-2011 11:12 Comments (0)

Yeah marriages are cool and all, but have you ever heard of something called freedom?

←Rate | 05-07-2013 12:48 Comments (0)