Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'll bet Rosa Parks could really kick ass at Musical Chairs.

   Its a man's responsibility to feed his wife because the last time the woman fed the man ........we all got chased out of the garden of Eden!

   Alternative Fact: You can't get pregnant on Spring Break. Summer is the only time you can get pregnant.

   To end the Corvid how about we give those who don't really need $600 extra per week to go on vacation with so they stay home.

   Why am I sleeping on the couch? well lets put it this way she caught me talking on the phone last night and it was not Jake from State farm

   Maybe the Pandemic Shutdown of 2020 was organized by Keyser Soze

   Marriage tip #12: Remember to always leave a healthy amount of cups and trash laying around your house. That way your wife always has something to clean up. A busy wife is a happy wife.

   Did you know that "Go hang a salami, Doc! Note; I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod. I’m a lasagna hog." is a palindrome? You do now.

   Aaron Hernandez's suicide just means 1 more Patriot wont be visiting the White House Today...

   Let’s pretend like we just went camping. When you wake up the next morning, you notice that your underwear is on backwards. Would you tell anyone about it? If your answer is no, do you want to go camping?

   I wonder if Tupac will make it to his movie premier??

   Can someone explain how Jaime fell off a horse in ankle deep water & then sank into the abyss? Thanks

   You can not take people's right away who want to take other people rights. You become as bad as them. We all have rights, even stupid people like the hate and anti hate group people.

   I wonder if Trump does all his tweeting while taking a dump on the toilet.

   Continuing to play the victim is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Blaming others for your situation in life will indeed make you a victim but the abuser will be your own self, not life or those around you.

   See you in tea ~ say it, slower, spell it

   What do you do if you are an atheist and your stuck behind a car that has a "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" bumber sticker?

   Florida and Texas send out a zombie alert to residents.

   Why are rat traps in the car-care section of this Walmart supermarket? Plenty to catch if they set it at the front of the store..

   ..... Hmmmm ...... Whay are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?