@zubindalal1 Funny Status Messages

   Oscar Pistorius brings a whole new meaning to taking your missus out on Valentine’s Day.

   Whatsapp and BBM have been ranked 2nd and 3rd as the best for gossip.Women continue to rule at No. 1.

   Most ‪‎friends‬ these days are so ‪‎fake‬ ..I'm sure if we turned them around we would find "Made in China" stickers on their asses !!!!

   Roses are red, Twitter is blue, you look bangable, so I'll follow you

   Shooting has started on a sequel to the movie Superman "Man of steel" to be titled "Balls of Steel" staring Felix Baumgartner

   I Say: A Joke is like s*x. Not good if you don't get it

   What do you call a woman that doesn't make me a sandwich? An ambulance.

   Me: Can you believe that after all that crap they're still together!?! Friend: Who ? Me: My buttcheeks

   Heard about the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.

   If everyday is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays.

   Can I add you on Facebook ? Cos I would like to Poke you

   What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred c*nts who don't do c*ck.