aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.

   just finished her first book!!! man, that was alot of coloring!!

   ...and then Buffy staked Edward. The end

   Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored, and go for a stroll out through my mouth. This is rarely a good thing.

   has just realized it doesnt matter if the glass is half empty or half full...either way it just means there is still room for more vodka!

   failure, is not falling down; but remaining where you have fallen.

   it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now sounds a little better than, it's 1:15, I'm trashed & horny...

   For every LIKE I receive. I shall drink one Jager-Bomb (Jagermeister + Redbull)

   If it werent for the gutter my mind would be homeless!!!

   If the mini skirt gets any shorter...women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, & a little more hair to comb"

   CRAP.... look who's online..LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT....."Hey whats up?..s***!!

   When someone changes their relationship status to "It's complicated." it always means that they don't know which hand to use...

   Tonight I'm leaving my sobriety at home, along with my indoor voice and any behavior that can be mistaken as 'ladylike'.

   Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!

   if you ever feel bad or depressed, just remember you were once the fastest most victorious sperm in the bunch!!

   thinking of adding you to his to-do list.

   So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?

   Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. …

   Laundry, my old nemesis…so we meet again. And I see you have brought your sidekick, Dirty Dishes with you. Well played evil villian, well played.

   cigarettes are just like ferrets, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire...