justcuz Funny Status Messages

   Ebola can live in semen for up to 2 months. So fellas, wash your socks.

   the inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions.

   If you rearrange the letters in North West, it spells Bad Parents.

   The only kind of Candy Crush I do is with my teeth.

   Fred Willard got arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Well, at least he can honestly say his newest release is in theaters now!

   The Dark Knight Rises.....a porn title that requires no alterations.

   the new Star Wars trailer went online today & it's already a better movie than The Phantom Menace.

   I'm going to lock in my Super Bowl prediction right now. I predict Madonna will be f*cking terrible.

   so sick of double standards. If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a "ho"...bu​t if a guy does the same thing, he's "gay".

   despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late '90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends.

   Zombway....Eat Flesh.

   Ya know, in France they would have called it the "Royale Baby with Cheese".

   I'm so looking forward to Halloween! Wonder if I'll see any costumes as scary as Renee Zellweger's new face...

   education shouldn't be a debt sentence.

   "How's phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can't ask on a job interview.

   Nicki Minaj judging singers on "American Idol" makes about as much sense as Mitt Romney judging a drag queen contest in West Hollywood.