celebritygifter Funny Status Messages

   if it were not for mimosa's...I would not reach my daily recommended allowance of Vitamin C

   finally got a new coffee maker this morning... actually... its just a new employee at Starbucks.

   note to mistress...if I am ever trapped in a mine or anywhere that TV crews and the WHOLE world is watching...please keep your a** at home..watch it on TV..I will call you when I can....just sayin..lol Happy Thursday...smile

   had to tell a friend I needed to reschedule today's activities due to FB Season starting...she texted me back.." What the hell is Facebook Season"...lol happy Sunday..smile

   the most humiliating walk of shame includes a Halloween costume...smile

   during a moment of silence at services last night...my ex girlfriend Stephanie asked what was happening...I said "this is the part of the service where we blow the Shofar"... she said "I'll take care of it...you paid for dinner".

   if I blocked you on Facebook...what makes you think I want to connect on LinkedIn? just sayin

   drinks, dinner, drinks....rinse and repeat...happy Friday..smile

   Apparently....Charlie Sheen is now suing the tsunami that hit Japan for replacing him as the biggest disaster on TV.

   12 Days FB gave to me... 12 Chicks I'm blocking... 11 friends just watching... 10 corny topics.... 9 busted barbies... 8 friends complaining... 7 stalkers stalking... 6 party invites... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeen

   every time I hear that jolly fat guy with the red suit and reindeer belt out his familiar "Hoe Hoe Hoe"....I cannot help looking around for my ex girlfriend