MWC Funny Status Messages

   FACT: 69% of people find something dirty in everything they read

   I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I get distracted easily becau

   Ladies; Go bra less, it takes the wrinkles out of your face!

   1 out of every 3 Obama supporters are as stupid as the other two

   BEWARE I bought the insanity workout series paid good money and I've watched it 5 times still haven't lost a pound. I'm gonna go get a BigMac and fries sit and watch it one more time! if I don't lose any weight I'm gonna take it back on the way to Dominos

   Thanks arms for being by my side. Thanks legs for all the support. Thanks middle fingers for sticking up for me!

   I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!

   I want a Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirt that say "Yes they're fake, My real ones tried to kill me!"

   My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

   Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it!

   I like walking under the rain so no one knows I'm crying" ... B! tch please ! I like walking in the pool so no one knows I'm peeing !

   has been sitting on this fence trying to decide which side is greener and the only conclusion I have made is this fence is hard and it makes my butt hurt

   Baby with a face like yours, I bet you just beat off all the guys!

   In every successful relationship the MANalways has the last word,,,"Yes Dear"

   He said "Your obsession with cats is out of control. I can't handle it anymore." She cried, "You're kicking meeeowt?"

   making a list of people to smack in the head with a fruitcake...

   Went to the grocery store with my sister and she got kicked out because she was complaining that all the bananas were bent...

   My letter to Santa starts something like this: Dear Santa, My sister did it..

   Dear Santa, I plead the fifth! No wait... I drank it!!

   I went in to see a psychiatrist. I say, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?