Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Your proctologist called. He found your head.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 10:17 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
←Rate | 03-30-2010 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Username or Password Incorrect" Couldn't you just tell me which one?
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess, I just don't get the whole, shaved off and drawn on eyebrow thingee women got going on.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telling a kid they're tired is like telling a drunk person they're drunk. Anger and denial follows.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 16:25 by Herbncheese/Oscar Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that every person who enters your life makes a difference in it, my question for you is are you gonna be a scar or a beauty mark?
←Rate | 11-29-2010 18:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won a trip to China now am stuck here waiting to win a trip back home
←Rate | 11-30-2010 01:59 by kibobi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa loves the rich kids more.
←Rate | 12-05-2010 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fine don't text me back then. It's not like I'm obsessively checking my phone or anything.
←Rate | 12-12-2010 19:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that if you see someone healthy parking in a handicapped zone, when they exit their car, you should be able to make an honest person out of them!
←Rate | 12-22-2010 15:13 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Snow Tip: The other people out shoveling are called "neighbors." They are like Facebook friends who live nearby.
←Rate | 12-27-2010 20:40 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a 30 day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 12:03 by AlliB513 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twitter: Its just like being stranded on a "lonely" island and writing a small, meaningless message to be put in a bottle and thrown out to sea hoping somebody will write you back.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 17:43 by Danz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends don't let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
←Rate | 04-09-2010 11:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be humble. You're not that great...
←Rate | 04-27-2010 02:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Premature Ejaculation ads make car rides awkward.....
←Rate | 04-28-2010 17:10 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fell off a 50ft ladder yesterday... luckily I was on the bottom step.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 18:44 by sellers82 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wondered what would happen if I deleted my recycle bin...
←Rate | 05-16-2010 12:32 by 82 Comments (2)  




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