MWC Funny Status Messages

   There is a fine line between fishing and standing on shore looking like an idiot

   What does a Colt want to be when it grows up? A Bronco! Go Payton Manning

   If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?

   A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'

   This world is getting so uptight!!... Buck Owens once had a tiger by the tail and nobody batted an eye!!

   I can't change the channel when those stupid snuggie commercials come on because I'm under a blanket and I don't want my arms to get cold.

   Dancing on my grave? Over my dead body!!!

   Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mother

   They say you are what you eat...so I'm gonna eat a skinny person

   The Desperado has a Peaceful Easy Feeling in the Hotel California...R.I.P. Glenn

   69% of everything a guy reads, he finds something dirty in it.

   I went to the mall today and the power went out, I was stuck on the escalator for 30 minutes.

   Patiently waiting for the Pro zac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!!!

   Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.

   You call me a Red Neck Back Woods Hillbilly, just because I go to the family reunion to find a date!...So be it!

   "Whats the fastest way to make a woman pick cotton?" "Set the string on fire!"

   When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin, and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.

   My wife just put me in charge of obeying her.

   Well the good news is Obama won nothing will change, The bad news is Obama won nothing will change.

   When ever I think about the past,,, It brings back so many memories