@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   "Daddy tell me a bedtime story!" "Sure honey. Once upon a time, a little girl wouldn't go to bed. Then she died.

   “Leftover Bacon” – a phrase you've never heard before.!!!

   I wish exams came with a "50/50" and a "phone a friend" option.

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them. ♥

   Me? Stalk? Nah, I just observe... behind a tree... at night..in the rain

   INTERNET: Can't get your homework done with it, can't get your homework done without it.

   Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: Um I was going to the store for oreos. Cop: Double stuffed? Me: you know it. Cop: have a nice day..

   Forgot to go too the gym today. That's 3 years in a row

   Still waiting for the best day of my life to happen...!!!

   i try not to act suspicious when passing police even though I'm innocent O.o

   "You're so ugly!" "Really?" "Yes!" "Good, I was trying to look like you today..."

   In bed it's 6am, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, its 7:45. At school it's 11:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 11:30

   We blame society, but we are society..

   Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed.

   !̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟͙̮͈̼̹̞͝ͅis ...Thats right I virtually cracked your screen ;P

   I leave homework till the last minute, because I'll be older and therefore wiser!

   Everyone has a 'vodka incident'

   Go down a water slide while it isn't wet and then you'll understand why foreplay is so important

   ❒ In A Relationship ❒ Single ❒ Messing Around ❒ Getting Cheated On ❒ F**k Relationships ✔I'm Just Hungry!

   The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children.