Funny Status Messages

   Pepsi is coming up with Michael Jackson cans in the USA.....In a totally un-related News- Pakistan is coming up with Osama Bin Laden Hookas!....Smoke Away my friends!!!! :)

   (-_(-_(-_(*-_-)_-)_-) (>^_^)> }¡{ Dammiit Dude quit chasing that butterfly & get back over here

   I am fat because of those stupid starving kids in China.

   Was I supposed to write something here?

   People that say the last word in this sentence is my bugaboo.

   Apple is announcing today that they are coming out with a new line of products for pets. The first is for dachsunds. It's called : I touch weiners

   I Once seen an eskimo pee ice cubes...

   What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred c*nts who don't do c*ck.

   Ok now seriously somebody should reeally! 'engineer the electricals' now!

   Sunday night Football on NBC, Al thinks Chris is as gay as can be

   Hi. You haven't seen me much lately. I have a new boyfriend. The one from before who I caught with another girl. But I took him back. So there, h8ers!

   You mean didn't exist I assume.. You're correct.

   This fish I got from the fisherman is off the hook.

   I don’t want to marry Bill Gates because he’s rich. I want to marry Bill Gates so I never have to fix my own computer.

   spiraling out of control, anyone need anything?

   Some people identify as non-binary. That means there are two categories: Binary and non-binary. Therefore, even if you identify as non-binary, you're still binary.

   Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is "What are you in for?"

   calculating the square root of tomorrow

   Some days you're the turd; some days you're the fly. I'm both every day. - Joe Biden

   I sent wait for the devil to take the souls of the ones who believes in taking an oath to God, but applauding when the GOP blatantly lies in order to protect someone.