Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some tampons and got blown into a bar?!

   Why is it called common sense? it should be called sense because it's not that common any more

   You don't have to own a horse to know what not to put in it!

   Porn has ruined my life. My toilet is blocked and I'm too scared to call the plumber :(

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   Condoms aren't safe at all. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

   When I get married: we're having all kinds of sex.. Where you been Sex..Random Sex.. Angry Sex.. We're out of sugar Sex...After eating KFC Sex

   Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six if you be the nine

   trying to have sex when you're wasted is like trying to play pool with a piece of string

   Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place and they are good to go

   Money does not change people it only shows their true character whether being generous or selfish

   Life is too valuable to hold grudges. Forgive and move on

   To all the girls that wear a lot of make up. It's a face not a colouring book!

   When I hear a girl speak German, I automatically think she's a lesbian

   Ah...... The irony of the London Olympics being sponsored by McDonald's and Coca - Cola

   Somebody died last night, but I didn't, somebody didn't wake up this morning, but I did, I'm not lucky, I'm blessed

   Why raise your middle finger to a hater when you can break their jaw?!

   Women, they always want what they can't have!

   No matter how busy you get, never forget the importance of family

   Too many snakes and not enough ladders these days