Heather25 Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if stalking your stalker bothers them?

   Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

   I dare you to walk into the cookie factory and say "Hi I'm here to apply for the fudge packer position".

   You did WHAT?? With WHO?? Behind WHAT barn?? For how many COOKIES!?!?

   If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

   Don't make the same mistake your parents did...Use birth control! ;)

   Makeover?? Honey you need to be ran over!!

   Dear Mr. undercover police car, I like your 5 extra antennas. ;)

   just wants to be someones "Dirty little secret!"

   There comes a time in life when all you can do is just slap the b*tch!

   So tell me, how DO you keep up with all your lies?

   No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

   How come no one will ever hold my hand and skip with me in public places??

   Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". ;)

   I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

   Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Great people do BOTH. ;)

   You and your rumors...you both get around. ;)

   A woman woke her husband one night and said, 'There's a burglar in the kitchen eating my home-made steak and kidney pie!' 'Oh dear: said her husband. 'Who shall I call, police or ambulance?'

   You b*tch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.