Funny Status Messages

   freedom means to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater!

   This is amazing & really works with ANY age!! Take your age, add two, subtract two. THAT's your age!! CrAzY!!

   Chick-Fil-A opposes same sex marriage but I heard their fries were waffling...

   Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!

   Terrorists: 3 Industrial Accident: 15... sorry terrorists, but you lost this round.

   So the pope is aborting his papacy before it reaches full term?

   all that Tebowing didnt even get him into the super bowl

   Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder...

   Are seniors from a church group in the hood submitting all these? or just the most moronic people new to the internet?

   Why don't bald guys with beards just walk upside down?

   Today is National Marijuana Day. A day when…uh…wow, Wolf Blitzer is SO funny.

   LIKE IF you hate when you're listening to the radio, and every radio station is on commercial.

   Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant found dead. Cause of death unknown at news time but witnesses report heavy cherry smell in the air. Guess heaven wasn't too far away.

   Confucius Say; To get rid of unwanted pubic hair, one must spit.

   ghetto word of the day: Israel "homie that watch is fake, nah man it this watch Israel"

   You know why lesbians are so fat...because there always eating out..!!!

   Initials and Acronyms. Casey Marie Anthony=CMA=Caylee's Murderer Acquitted

   The first time I ever removed my clothes in front of a woman, she smiled and said it reminded her of an old song. "I asked, "Let It All Hang Out?" She said, "No. The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

   I'm glad I grew up in an era where "active shooter" wasn't even an idea. I'm sad for today's youth where this is now a reality.

   How many tweets does it take to get to the center of attention?