Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   Dear Santa, is it too late to be good?

   Don't feel bad if you don't enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That's what matters.

   Its not attractive to constantly look surprised! So get your crayons out and sketch a different pair of eyebrows please

   20 Years ago today, me and my wife got married.. And yes you can get less for murder

   How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on

   I would of had a better comeback but I left the come back in your mother

   Oh so you're a model? Who's your agent, Instagram?

   Love is such a strong word But then again, so is C*NT

   When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get, your already hard to want.....

   It's not my fault I'm dyslexic, it's in my NDA.

   The closer I get to the toielt, the worse I have to go. It never fails

   My girlfrand said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I don't get women.

   Apparently “bae” means “before anyone else.” I always thought it was an extremely ghetto word for “babe”...

   I'm allergic to some alcohol. I break out in Sexyness and and in extreme cases nudity...

   Not sure if my bed is calling me or if its the girl I left handcuffed all day

   My girlfriend is so dumb. It's just me and her alone in the living room and she turns around and says "who's farted"

   Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.

   Behind everyone's favorite song, there is an untold story

   Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to "Unstable"